My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I need water and some morals
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
