Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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