I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Randomize
