Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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