lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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