New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
