i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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