eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
send nudes
from the living room?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
