No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize