just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
