I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
