I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
