i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
