They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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