My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He better not be in your backpack
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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