is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
my poor anus
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
