i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
