I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
