have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
