butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My penis needs a shock collar
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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