I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
