We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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