shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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