Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
