I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
