the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
