When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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