I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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