im having a threesome with these popsicles
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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