I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
