Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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