she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
