I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...