I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
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Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.