yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're a waste of cheezeits
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
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The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.