My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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