I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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