Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
