I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
