Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
