i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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