Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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