i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
