Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
