Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
