you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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