I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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