I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
