I think I died a long time ago.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
