shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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