The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
