all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
