well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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