So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize