Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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