and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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