If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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