I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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