we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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