I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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