he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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