i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
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I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
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I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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