It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
