I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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