dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
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Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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