Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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